When I’m not around here, you’re likely to find me here. If my life is a house, then this is the front room with the Royal Doulton on display and those fucking doily things – I’m reliably informed they’re known as antimacassars – over the back of the sofa. The back room is where I’m mostly to be found, scratching a bollock or two through my underpants on the settee, shouting at the television and fishing Chocolate HobNob® crumbs out of my chest hair.
You’re more than welcome to come over.
